Why Cats Are Really Better Than Your Boyfriends

Forwarded by *Richi*
Thursday, 9 May 2013 10:28 AM

Cats never leave the bathroom door open.













They look approximately 5987 times cuter when they sleep.


































They're happy to turn the lights off when it's time to go to bed.





















You'll never have to remind a cat to help out with the chores.




















Feeling clingy? No problem.



















Cats understand that love is a two-way street.
















Cats are patient and direct when giving instructions.
















Cats take exceptionally good care of their appearance.













Boyfriend bothers you when you're trying to do work? Annoying. Cat bothers you when trying to do work? THE MOST WELCOME DISTRACTION POSSIBLE.





















Fact: a pretentious cat is 400% more tolerable than a pretentious boyfriend.












Cats are heart-warming, not shady, when they're being sneaky.


























Cats are open to making new friends.
























































Cats don't care if you listen to Beyonce all day every day.













Cats give excellent massages.















Face it...












Your boyfriend will never...












EVER...













Be this cute.

Anger versus Exasperation

Forwarded by Kareena Deewani
Tue, Jun 5, 2012 at 8:48 PM


A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, “Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?”

The father replied, “It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.”

With that the father went to the telephone and dialed a number at random.

To the man who answered the phone, he said, “Hello, is Melvin there?”

The man answered, “There is no one living here named Melvin. Why don’t you learn to look up numbers before you dial.”

“See,” said the father to his daughter.

“That man was not a bit happy with our call. He was probably very busy with something and we annoyed him. Now watch …”

The father dialed the number again.

“Hello, is Melvin there?” asked the father.

“Now look here!” came the heated reply.

“You just called this number and I told you that there is no Melvin here! You’ve got lot of guts calling again!” 

The receiver slammed down hard.

The father turned to his daughter and said, “You see, that was anger. Now I’ll show you what exasperation is.”

He dialed the same number, and when a violent voice roared, “Hello!” the father calmly said, “Hello, this is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?”

The Definition of KISS

Forwarded by S K Afridi
Tuesday, 23 July 2013 4:09 AM

Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways.

Professor of Computer Science: A kiss is few bits of love compiled into a byte.

Professor of Algebra: A kiss is two divided by nothing.

Professor of Geometry: A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.

Professor of Physics: A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

Professor of Chemistry: A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.

Professor of Zoology: A kiss is the interchange of uni*---**---**---*ual salivary bacteria.

Professor of Physiology: A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction.

Professor of Dentistry: A kiss is infectious and septic.

Professor of Accountancy: A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

Professor of Economics: A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.

Professor of Statistics: A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.

Professor of Philosophy: A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.

Professor of English: A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

Professor of Military Science: A kiss is an employment application to the headquarter for a job at the base.

Brilliant Inventions

Forwarded by Gupta MurliD
Thursday, 28 February 2013 12:04 AM

Dyson Bladeless Fan

Dyson fans use air multiplier technology to draw in air and amplify it. With no blades or grille, they are safe and easy to clean.

Two Way Toothpaste
Two way toothpaste is ideal for those who get angry with their partner for squeezing the toothpaste from the front.

Infinite USB
Innovative USB plug designed to act as a USB hub when plugged in.

Sixpack Bottle Carrier
It can safely transport up to six beer, soft drink, or water bottles.

Greenbo Rail Planter
Simply place your Greenbo planter on your railing, deck or fence. State of the art unique design assures its secure fit and stability.

Innovative Sewing Needle
With a bit of pressure, the loop eye of Big Eye Needle expands to the size of a button hole - making threading a cinch!

Butter Stick
Butter on a stick from Japan will make a great addition to any kitchen.

Upstanding Toothbrush
When the toothbrush is set down, it will sway momentarily until it reaches a balanced position - just like a tumble doll.