Funny New Year's Resolutions

Forwarded by Deepak Punjabi
Friday, 31 December, 2010 5:52 PM












This year, I resolve to:

always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump;















always check if tissue is properly disposed before leaving the restroom;




















will try to drive closer to the speed limit;














will always wear clean underwear, just in case;














will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars;












will no longer park my car next to a fire hydrant;












will start drinking less beer;















will stop buying useless stuff, and;














will try to drive more carefully.

2011 New Year Greetings

Forwarded by SIKANDAR KHAN *
Friday, 31 December, 2010 6:45 PM

Twenty-Six Thought-Provoking Remarks

Forwarded by Jun Suyat
05 February 2009


Twenty-Six Thought-Provoking Remarks

1. Give God what is right and not what is left.

2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end but God's way leads to an endless hope.

3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma but never let him be the period.

6. Do not put a question mark where God puts a period.

7. Visit a church for a face-lift if you are wrinkled with burden.

8. Do not give God instructions when praying, just report for duty.

9. Do not wait for six strong men to take you to church.

10. No need to change God's message because His message changes us.

11. The church is prayer-conditioned.

12. When God ordains, He sustains.

13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.

14. Plan ahead because it was not raining when Noah built the ark.

15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.

16. Brush up on your Bible if you are suffering from truth decay.

17. The best exercise is to walk with the Lord daily.

18. Never give the devil a ride because he will grab the steering wheel.

19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.

20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.

21. He who angers you controls you.

22. Worry is a darkroom in which negatives can develop.

23. Give Satan an inch and he will be a ruler.

24. Be fishers of men, that is, you catch them and He will clean them.

25. God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

26. Read the Bible because it will scare the hell out of you.