Friday, December 31, 2010

Funny New Year's Resolutions

Forwarded by Deepak Punjabi
Friday, 31 December, 2010 5:52 PM













This year, I resolve to:

always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump;















always check if tissue is properly disposed before leaving the restroom;




















will try to drive closer to the speed limit;














will always wear clean underwear, just in case;














will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars;












will no longer park my car next to a fire hydrant;












will start drinking less beer;















will stop buying useless stuff, and;














will try to drive more carefully.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Twenty-Six Thought-Provoking Remarks

Forwarded by Jun Suyat
05 February 2009


Twenty-Six Thought-Provoking Remarks

1. Give God what is right and not what is left.

2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end but God's way leads to an endless hope.

3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma but never let him be the period.

6. Do not put a question mark where God puts a period.

7. Visit a church for a face-lift if you are wrinkled with burden.

8. Do not give God instructions when praying, just report for duty.

9. Do not wait for six strong men to take you to church.

10. No need to change God's message because His message changes us.

11. The church is prayer-conditioned.

12. When God ordains, He sustains.

13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.

14. Plan ahead because it was not raining when Noah built the ark.

15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.

16. Brush up on your Bible if you are suffering from truth decay.

17. The best exercise is to walk with the Lord daily.

18. Never give the devil a ride because he will grab the steering wheel.

19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.

20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.

21. He who angers you controls you.

22. Worry is a darkroom in which negatives can develop.

23. Give Satan an inch and he will be a ruler.

24. Be fishers of men, that is, you catch them and He will clean them.

25. God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

26. Read the Bible because it will scare the hell out of you.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Labor of Loaves

Forwarded by Deepak Punjabi
Tuesday, 19 October, 2010 9:30 PM


Labour of loaves: World's largest toast portrait is 'birthday card like no other'
by Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 7:59 AM on 19th October 2010


When you're trying to come up with a really unusual birthday present, it pays to use your loaf.

In the case of Laura Hadland, she used 600 of them.

The 27-year-old museum curator turned a photo of her mother-in-law, Sandra Whitfield, into the world's largest toast mosaic - comprising 9,852 slices.

Mrs. Hadland roped in 40 friends to help her make the tribute, which she describes as 'a treat made with love and a sense of randomness.'














In-bread-ible: The portrait, measuring 32 ft. 8 in. by 42 ft. 3 in., set a new world record as the largest toast mosaic


They used a battery of nine toasters to brown the slices of bread to varying degrees before arranging it to make the 32 ft. 8 in. by 42 ft. 3 in. picture at an arts venue in Mrs. Whitfield's home town of Warrington, Cheshire.

After spending six hours painstakingly perfecting the image, Laura surprised her husband Mike's mother with the unusual portrait to celebrate her 50th birthday.

The enormous picture was confirmed yesterday as having set a new Guinness World Record as the largest toast mosaic.

Laura, from Leicester, said: 'It's great to have broken the record - what an awesome day. I'm thrilled my best mates come together to make our mark on history and celebrate Sandra's birthday at the same time - it's a birthday card like no other.'













Record attempt: Laura, 27, and her 40 helpers turned nearly 10,000 slices of toast into a giant mosaic depicting her mother-in-law, Sandra Whitfield


'As a museum curator, I spend lots of time with Roman mosaics so it was great fun to make a modern one out of my favourite food - everyone loves toast.'

'It's a treat for Sandra made with much love and a sense of randomness. She's certainly not a stereotypical mother-in-law, she's one of my best friends and I love her.'

Mrs. Whitfield, a divorced mother of two, cried with joy when she saw the unusual birthday gift. She said: 'It was certainly a massive shock. I love toast but it feels very strange seeing my face made out of it.

'I'm really overwhelmed because they have gone to so much effort. Laura really is the best daughter-in-law you could wish for. It's been the best birthday present ever and I'm now a world record holder.'














An unusual toast: Laura Hadland's record-breaking toast mosaic was created to celebrate her mother-in-law's 50th birthday


The toast mosaic - 128 square metres of browned and scorched bread - was officially named the world's largest at 5 pm on October 17 at Warrington's Parr Hall by Guinness World Records adjudicator Claire Burgess. The previous record holder measured 121.93 square metres and was created by staff and students at a school in Eindhoven, Netherlands, in February.

Laura used Facebook to recruit volunteers for the record attempt, which was part of a social networking project - the Wildfire Experience - sponsored by mobile device manufacturer HTC. Emily Edmondson, eight, who took part along with her mother and grandmother, was one of the youngest mosaic makers.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Me in the Shower Room

Forwarded by Anil Bhatnagar
Monday, 11 October, 2010 4:04 PM



After so much convincing from friends, I have decided to post on the Internet a photo of me in the shower room. If you are ready to look at me in the shower room, please scroll down ...


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Here is the photo of me in the shower room. Have a great day!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Ingenious Solutions

Forwarded by Amir Shah
Friday, 27 August, 2010 12:52 PM



Need spoon but only have fork?
















Seatbelt not functioning?
















New TV too big for the old cabinet?
















No bottle opener?
















Room too dark?




















Electrical problem?















Replacement for a stolen car stereo?















Need bookends?




















No ice chest?















Hard to see ATM screen?



















Wanted to drive a left-hand drive car?













How to protect the low noise block (LNB) of a satellite dish?




















Craving for a warm coffee?















Burned out wiper motor?















Display rack falling over?















Overloaded table?

















Dragging exhaust pipe?















Cables falling behind the desk?













Looking for skatepark in town?