Cats' Recommended Sleeping Positions

Forwarded by Herby
Thursday, 10 January 2013 9:28 AM

The Half Sit-Up
To achieve the half sit-up, you must begin with the intention of exercising your abs and promptly fall asleep midway through the task. This position is extremely advanced and not recommended for amateur sleepers.

The Awkward Spoon
The goal here is not so much for intimacy, as it is the socially uncomfortable sharing of your physical space with someone. Bonus points if your arm falls asleep and you're too scared to move it.

The Cool Dude
The trick here is to look totally relaxed while you're really extremely uncomfortable.

The Bed Hog
The goal is not so much comfort, as an expression of sheer, unadulterated greed.

The Thinking Outside the Box
Two of your feet, preferably on opposite sides of your body, must remain outside the box at all times.

The Pile-Up
You end up colliding with at least three others, and you are hoping they all have insurance.

The Be the Box
You must be able to get your whole body in the box, no matter what it takes. Become one with the box!

The Radiator
Your main goal here is not about comfort. It's just about warmth.

The Sleeping Dog
This one is easy. Find a dog and imitate it.

The Positive Thinker
You refuse to let a bad situation get the best of you.

The Drying Rack
Imagine that you are a wet t-shirt. Drape yourself accordingly.

The Head Rush
Lay on your back, head hanging off the side, paws in the air - and let gravity do the rest. A pounding headache will be felt shortly.

The Non-Conformist
You will first need to find two willing conformists in order to make your statement.

The Mid-Sentence
This position is only for those with extreme forms of narcolepsy.

The Some Assembly Required
Have a friend take you apart and then try to reassemble you from memory.

The Some Assembly Required 2
Same as above, except without the box.

The Dog Bed
It's probably the most comfortable bed you will ever sleep on, but smells kind of funky.

The Dreaded Mid-Afternoon Slump
Eating a big lunch, then falling asleep at your desk.

The Old Married Couple
Your mate's snoring no longer bothers you.

An Interesting Story Happened at McDonald's

Forwarded by Cristina Querubin
Friday, 5 September, 2008 5:14 PM


An Interesting Story Happened at McDonald's

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonald's store one cold winter evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and couples eating there that night.

Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking: "Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"

The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal.

The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray.

There was one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink.

The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half.

He placed one half in front of his wife.

Then, he carefully counted out the French fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites.

Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were saying: "They were used to sharing everything."

Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing.

She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of the drink.

A young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal.

The lady explained that no, they were used to sharing.

As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again.

After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating? You said that you share everything. What is it that you are waiting for?"

She answered, "THE TEETH!"